this has been an incredible year of transformation and change for me. i have been rediscovering myself: my strengths, my challenges, and my life lessons after my life was abruptly changed in direction when my long term relationship ended suddenly while i was deep in wedding plans (for a couple of years). yes, in hindsight, that was an obvious hint that it was going nowhere fast, yet love is blind. i was devastated emotionally at the time, and didn’t realize what a gift of freedom i had been given.
letting go of that which no longer serves me and staying present to all of the good and love in my life has returned to my awareness a richness and presence of spirit and energy. i am honoured to be one of many to witness such palpable presence of grace and benevolence recently at a moment of my family’s greatest sadness and pain. during my aunt aggie’s funeral mass, as she was being blessed with the incense of frankincense, i became captivated by the rising smoke. my awareness and attention was fixed and mesmerized as i watched the incense rise in ribbon-like rippling waves which had a peaceful, sparkling energy that i can only describe as having the feeling of the wings of a dove. i found out later that my cousin, kelly, who was sitting a row in front of me, felt and was also absolutely captivated by it.
moments later, as we were standing outside after we followed my aunt from the church to the hearse for the preparation of cremation, we were all standing there… frozen… no one moved or spoke. just then, in announcement of their blessings, we could hear a flock of canadian geese approaching. flying low in a v-formation that i have never seen before, a flock of maybe 50 geese flew over the church behind us, straight over our family standing there, with the v completely filled in, bowling pin style, maybe 5 or 6 deep in parts. i reflexively reached my hand to the sky in greeting saying “aho metaqueasin” (lakota greeting/response said in sweat lodges meaning something akin to, “yes! you speak my truth”), as i felt this powerful wave of love, peace, magic, and grace. everyone did. we all broke out in tears and acknowledgement of how the geese had just blessed us. one of my aunts said she was asking for a sign just moments before, and she knew that was it.
i was talking about it with my girlfriend that night, and she channeled that it was an angel that i felt/saw in the smoke of the frankincense. that totally fit with exactly what i feeling and present to. all of the love present in the church, for my aunt, for my uncle and cousins, for our whole family, was absolutely all encompassing. i told my cousin my girlfriend’s insight. my cousin knew in her heart that we had witnessed our dearly beloved aunt getting her wings… on the third day, she rose again, in fulfilment of the scripture. i believe that the geese bore the spirits of our ancestors and manifested in physical display, bestowing us with all of the love they have for us, and let that descend upon and wash all over us as they came to take her home.
i believe that our loved ones are with us always. i believe that heaven isn’t so much as “out there”, but really “in here”- in our hearts, minds, memories, and in our legacy. as einstein said, “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” our love is eternal and powerful beyond measure. it was the combined love of our family on this day which lifted the veil to make visible that which is not usually seen, but can often be felt.
as we gather in celebration of the winter solstice and christmas, let us fill our hearts with the light of love for ourselves and for our friends and family members- past, present, and future. may this love bring forth the greatest spirit of loving kindness and compassion. and may the magic of this season bring forth a world profoundly related through joy, peace, happiness, and love.
merry christmas my beloveds, and have a most blessed new year!!